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Shrinking, dissolving, disappearing from sight,
I fight to find me, to be me.
Keeping everything tucked in, stuck inside.
Running on empty, yet constantly on alert.
Raised heartbeat, tight chest,
hyper vigilant yet tuned out.
Trying to escape, but restricted and constrained.
Surrounded by freedom, trapped by obligations.
Wanting to care, but pushed away,
it’s a fine line between love and hate.
Lost, worn out, finished, yet never ending.
What happens when you struggle to recognise yourself and the person you are can no longer be found? I use my work to explore relationships and the impact they have on me.
Within my work I want to create curiosity, disquiet, humour and to play with the narrow margin between attraction and revulsion. I aim to create an emotional or physical response in my audience and make them ask:
What is that?
What is happening?
What is the relationship?
With my anthropomorphic creatures I look to create and question narratives. I want the audience to feel voyeuristic, like they are intruding on the creatures in their own environment, watching how they interact and communicate (or not) with each other.
I want them to experience the conflict and friction in the relationship and I hope for a double take, a feeling of unease or uncomfortableness, a sense of otherness and the unknown.
The development for my degree show would have followed my usual practice where decisions are all made based on testing. Responding to changes, selecting what works, and rejecting what doesn’t. This work is so reliant on the atmosphere created by the environment and placing of the work within it, that it cannot be conveyed through a model or edited photographs. One day (hopefully soon) it will be finished and exhibited….
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